News
Researchers Confirm That During Childbirth, Women Feel Almost The Same Amount Of Pain A Man Feels When He’s Stuck Walking Behind A Slow Person | Babylon Bee
3+ hour, 10+ min ago (273+ words) U.S. " A study conducted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) appeared to demonstrate that women experiencing childbirth feel almost the same amount of pain a man feels when he's stuck walking behind a really slow people. "Maybe now my wife…...
Child Who Looks Like Perfect Angel While Sleeping Transforms Into Demonic Hellion Upon Waking Up
2+ mon, 2+ day ago (186+ words) MILWAUKEE, WI " In one of the greatest deceptions known to mankind, a child who spent her entire nap looking like a perfect little angel while asleep transformed into a demonic hellion immediately upon waking up. According to Melissa Stevens, the…...
AOC Tells Mom Giving Birth To Get A Real Job
3+ mon, 1+ week ago (201+ words) BRONIX, NY " According to witnesses at the scene, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez burst into a birthing suite at local Montefiore Hospital to tell off a woman in labor that she should get a real job. "All you do is lay around,…...
Woman Awarded Trophy For Enduring 17 Hours Of Senseless Agony Instead Of Getting Epidural
3+ mon, 1+ week ago (122+ words) MILWAUKEE, WI " After hours of horrifying agony and non-stop screaming, local woman Jessica Poulter was awarded a cool trophy for giving birth without an epidural. The entire staff of the hospital held a parade in her honor, praising her for…...
Baby Attains 3rd-Degree Blackbelt In Rolling Out Of Diaper Changes
3+ mon, 3+ week ago (162+ words) GREENWOOD, MO " Martial arts enthusiasts celebrated a historic achievement this week, as a local baby attained a 3rd-degree black belt in rolling out of diaper changes. Jack Thellman, a 12-month-old child, reached a new level of mastery in his chosen…...
Pregnant Women Begin Downing Tylenol In Hopes Sons Will Start Electric Car Companies And Become Billionaires
4+ mon, 1+ week ago (216+ words) U.S. " A new popular trend was reported to be sweeping America in the wake of HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy's announcement linking the use of a popular over-the-counter painkiller to a higher risk of autism, as pregnant women began downing Tylenol in…...
Pregnant Celebrity Mom Delighted To Announce Unborn Baby Is Trans
5+ mon, 4+ day ago (226+ words) BEVERLY HILLS, CA " At a lavish gender reveal party attended by Hollywood elite, a popular young celebrity announced that her unborn baby is trans. "After three abortions, I am finally having a trans baby," the celebrity said. "It kicks a…...
Instant Sainthood: Man Installs Car Seat Without Cussing
5+ mon, 1+ week ago (168+ words) ST. LOUIS, MO " Witnesses report that Micah Rupe was granted instant sainthood after he properly installed a car seat without cussing even once. According to Leah Rupe, Micah's wife, her husband received a halo and the beatitude of God's faithful…...
10 Ways Babies Are Smarter Than Liberals
5+ mon, 2+ week ago (251+ words) While babies are undeniably cute, they aren't too bright. Yet, despite being unable to talk or poo on a potty, babies are still significantly smarter than today's liberals. Here are ten ways babies are outpacing the libs: They instinctively know…...
9 Hardest Parts Of Pregnancy For Husbands
7+ mon, 1+ week ago (270+ words) Brought to you by: PROLIFE Across AMERICA Everyone loves to talk about how difficult pregnancy is for women, but the truth is that pregnancy requires incredible sacrifices from husbands too! Here are the 9 most difficult parts of pregnancy that husbands…...